When you think back on what a year means to you what do you think of? Is there one year in general that stands out? One year that you know defined so much of who you are and what you are?
May 2011- May 2012 is that year for me.
I think back to May 2011 when I would go about my normal routines, day in and day out as I have a thousand times before. Never knowing that this would be the month that would test who I am to the core.
This May 29th, 2012 will mark the one year anniversary that my husband survived a complex brain aneurysm.
One full year has passed since I stood in front of the Chief of Neurology at North Shore University and he told me that my husband has a three pronged aneurysm and the chance of making it out of surgery is only about 50%.
Recalling any part of those 14 days while he was in the hospital makes my heart start to palpitate. My mind races in vivid memories of flash backs that feel so real if I close my eyes.
The hard memories never go away.
Watching my boys kiss their dad goodbye the day before his surgery not knowing what was going to happen.
Holding Don's hand and looking in his eyes before his surgery not knowing our future.
The tiny details linger all the time...
I can hear the 24 hour monitor beeps in my head (still).
I can tell you what Don ate and what Don didn't eat.
The horrible pain I watched Don in day in and out after surgery.
How cold a hospital room really is at 2:00 am
I can describe in detail the smell of the spring air as I raced home each morning to see my boys off to school after spending 17 to 18 hours in the hospital every day.
It is easy to sit here and say now how amazing thankful I am on how god saved my husband that day. Yet, the larger lesson for me would still not be found until months later when life moves on and we went back into that normal routine.
That is where the real blessing was found for me.
When Don came home from the hospital I swore that no matter what I would value and honor the blessing that God gave me by saving Don that day. And I did, but not always. Real life started taking over again.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you think that after God does this amazing thing by saving my boys from losing their dad, or me from losing my best friend that I would throw rose petals at him every single day celebrating our love and how much I love the life we made. But it doesn't happen that way.
The message/lesson for me is that I know Don and I will survive all odds. That we have what it takes to make it because I truly believe that at the end of the day God sees it too. Without Don in my life I would not have the peace my heart now holds.
Do I drive him crazy? Hell yes.
Does he drive me crazy? Double hell yes.
Do I love him and the life we have created with our sweet, slightly insane kids? a big fat YES.
I cannot believe it is going to be one year.
In one year I found out how amazingly strong my husband really is...
...how strong I can be..
And how strong our love continues to grow..
Surviving the odds for sure.
I love you Donald Joseph.